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“When we numb the dark, we numb the light.” — Brene Brown

I spent years numbing. Decades even. I kept numbing the dark emotions with things like alcohol and perfectionism so I wouldn’t have to feel any pain, but what I didn’t realize was that I was also numbing the light. I was chasing false light that was never going to be found while I was in the dark.

Brené Brown says in her book The Gifts of Imperfection, “When we lose our tolerance for discomfort, we lose joy.” I refused to feel discomfort, I numbed it away, and therefore I could never really experience joy.

Once I quit drinking and started to allow myself to fully feel EVERY emotion whether it sucked or not, joy returned to my life. Not only that, but the spark ⚡️ in myself that was extinguished for years was relit 💡 That picture ☝🏻 could’ve never happened when I was numb. That genuine smile wasn’t a possibility because there was no real joy. I cried when I saw this picture of myself. I hardly even recognized the person I was becoming…and what’s even more crazy was that I was only becoming my TRUE SELF. Who I was MEANT to be.

If you want to take back your life, if you want to start living in your OWN direction, stop numbing.

It doesn’t have to be alcohol, you could be numbing with all kinds of things. Brené Brown lists a few, “drugs, food, sex, relationships, money, work, caretaking, gambling, staying busy, affairs, chaos, shopping, planning, perfectionism, constant change, and the Internet.”

Once I stopped numbing my whole life opened up and I saw the work that needed to be done. It hasn’t been easy but it’s been so worth it and I’m never going back. The world needs our light 💡 I’m with you friends, love you! ❤️

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