Once I stopped drinking as much wine everyday I realized how much I hate, I mean despise!, being uncomfortable.
By uncomfortable I mean – stressed, anxious, feeling someone is mad at me, tension in relationships, not fitting in, feeling judged, even working out and pushing myself to sweat – YOU NAME IT!
I would go to great links to avoid feeling uncomfortable, and my go to FIX ALL was wine.
The wine would take all of the yucky uncomfortable crap and make it disappear like magic.
Or so I thought.
No, I realized that all of that uncomfortableness had not magically disappeared, it was only stuffed inside of me causing anxiety and panic.
When I stopped using alcohol I was faced with a BIG problem of having no way to escape being uncomfortable. I had to SIT in all of these yucky, crappy, emotions and FEEL them. Honestly it felt like torture.
I would spend hours, days, and sometimes even weeks being upset. Who wants to be upset for that long!! NOT ME!
BUT, when I sat in that stress, or I sat with someone who I thought was mad at me, or I sat with some tension in my relationships – wonderful things began to happen. Real MAGIC, not pretend magic.
Eventually, a light bulb would go off, and I would think – “OMG, this is WHY I’m feeling tension. This is WHY I’m feeling upset. This is WHY I’m stressed.”
Once I knew the WHY, I knew something even better, the HOW to fix it.
One, by one, by one, I was able to FIX things in my life.
I was able to recognize bad habits such as people pleasing and peace keeping at my own expense.
Today, I still get these negative emotions, but I don’t run away from them. I know that I need to lean in, to be uncomfortable for how ever long it takes for me to figure out what the REAL problem is. Eventually I will get it, and that’s when I learn, and grow and keep going.
So if you’re uncomfortable friends, it’s OKAY. Be uncomfortable. FEEL it and then help yourself come out of it, because we are worth it.